在近四次浙江省高考英语试题中,读后续写试题都是要求考生续写人物经历,补充故事情节。学生答题中存在的典型问题为情节构思与前文不连接、续写内容欠丰满、语言表达欠生动等。其中一个重要原因就是,学生不会根据文章主题和故事发展的需要生动、细致地描写主要人物的动作,导致续写文章情节失真、内容平淡、人物苍白、语言空洞。
在作答读后续写试题的过程中,学生在读懂续写材料、理解主旨大意、把握叙事结构、获取人物信息、分析事件冲突、理清写作思路的基础上,可以运用以下动作描写微技能来优化动作描写,更好地完成续写任务。文章最后附上《动词描写美句》供考生欣赏背诵。
01 细化动作,写出动作过程
在描写动作时,要细化动作,把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作,形成动作链。
在教学中可以让学生学会描写动作时不仅表现“在做什么”,而且表现“在怎样做”,如通过动词填空练习,让学生用恰当的动词补全动作过程;通过动词分解练习,让学生将一个动作环节分解成多个动作,形成动作链;通过情景写作训练,让学生根据给定情景写出人物的动作过程。
E.G. 人教版高中英语教材Module 7 Unit 2 Robots中,当Claire从梯子上掉下来Tony设法接住她时,描写了Claire的一系列动作,screamed、pushed him away和ran to her room,这一动作过程就把Claire的惊吓、羞愧和不知所措表现得淋漓尽致。
02 精选动词,做到描述精准
在描写动作时,要准确抓住人物在特定情景中行动的特点,所选动作要体现人物特征,比如年龄、性格、性别、身份、环境、情景等。
在教学中,首先,指导学生扩大词汇量,尤其是动词词汇,熟练甄别相近动词的意义和适用语境;其次,发挥教材和其他阅读文本的示范作用,引导学生体会和感悟动词用法并学习借鉴。
E.G. 人教版高中英语教材Module 7 Unit 3 Under the Sea中这样描写Old Tom的动作:We ran down to the shore in time to see an enormous animal opposite us throwing itself out of the water and then crashing down again. 句中用了throwing和crashing两个动词,相比于其他动词(如jumping和dropping )更为精准,让读者充分感受到了Old Tom的重量和动作的力量。
03 添加修饰成分,实现描写生动
动作描写中最常见的修饰成分就是状语,如副词、介词短语等。
例如,在体现动作的迅速和短暂时,我们可以添加以下修饰语:suddenly、immediately、instantly、swiftly、rapidly、hastily、speedily、promptly、without pausing、without delay等。
另外,把动作和表情、心理结合起来描写,能写出人物的动作所表现出的神态、想法,从而能更生动地刻画人物性格。例如,将动作looked at、reached for和with wonder、was amazed以及“How absurd!”“He was just a machine!”等表情和心理描写结合起来,更好地表现了难以置信。
动词描写美句
1. She shot her a meaningful look.–《秘密花园》(Secret Garden)她向他意味深长地看了一眼。
2. Beli’s diamond eyes locked on to her.–《奥斯卡·瓦奥短暂而奇妙的一生》贝利钻石般的眼睛紧盯着她。
3. Mary felt her heart race.玛丽感到她的心跳加速。
4. A great silence surrounded them.–《 歌剧魅影The Phantom of the Opera 》周围一片寂静。
5. His name had completely slipped from my memory.—《Wuthering Heights》他的名字,我竟忘得一干二净。
6. He stormed out and slammed the door shut.他怒气冲冲地跑了出去,把门重重地关上。
7. We were merrily driving on the highway when suddenly one tyre burst.我们正在高速路上欢快地开着车突然一个轮胎爆胎了。
8. Jenny walked slowly to the front, with her legs trembling and her heart bumpingnearly out of her chest.Jenny慢慢走到讲台,腿发抖,心都快跳出来了。
9. She choked and her eyes brimmed with tears.她喉咙哽咽,眼里满是泪水。
10.The moment he finished his speech in a magnetic voice, a wave of applauseerupted from the audience.他用磁性的嗓音完成了演讲,观众席中暴发一阵掌声。
11. He stood leaning against the wall, unable to speak.他靠着墙站着,说不出话来。(表达伤心)
12. She hugged them to her chest, and at last she was able to look up with tearful eyes and a smile.她把它们紧紧地抱在胸前,终于抬起头来,泪流满面地微笑着。
13. He gave a jump in the air, twirled, ran a few steps, stopped, looked all around, sniffed the smells of afternoon, and then set off walking down through the orchard.他先是蹦跶了一下,原地转了几圈,再跑上几步,又停了下来,四下望了望,嗅了嗅午后暖洋洋的空气,然后一路跑进了果园。(开心的场景)
14. Even as I was digging into my pocket to get out my revolver, I made a running step back.当我在口袋里掏出左轮手枪的时候,我后退了一步。(描写恐惧)
15. Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen such a rabbit, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it.爱丽丝跳了起来,因为她突然想到她从来没见过这样的兔子。她好奇地穿过田野,追赶那只兔子。
16. We got into his car and drove up the road, stopped a few houses down from the tree.我们上了车,开上道路,然后停在了离这棵树有些距离的地方。
17. Abel was quick. Good Lord, he was fast. The ringleader had made a dash for it, trying to climb over a hall. Abel grabbed him, pulled him down and dragged him back.Abel 跑的很快。这个元凶往前冲,试图反爬过大厅。但是Abel抓住他,把他拉下来并且拖了回去。
18. In between sobs I told her the story.在哭的时候,告诉她这个故事.
19. I ran back home, smiling and skipping along .我蹦蹦跳跳地笑着跑回家
20. Abel slammed his foot on the gas and shot up onto the grass and straight toward the bottom of the tree.Able 在汽油上用力踩了一下,然后飞快的踏上草坪直直地朝树底下走去。
21. Her pulses beat fast, and the blood warmed and relaxed every inch of her body.她的心跳加快,热血温暖了身体的每个部位,使她感觉到身心完全地放松了
22. She arose at length and opened the door to her sister’s request.她最终站起来,在她姐姐的请求下开了门
23. The waiter watched him go down the street, a very old man walking unsteadily but with dignity.那个侍者瞅着他顺着大街走去,这个年纪大的人走起路来虽然脚步不稳,却很神气。